The week-end was tough. Friday night was not good, and this is now the time when I want to throw in the towel. I always have extremely busy Fridays at work and so look forward to unwinding with a glass of wine in the evening. I'm not feeling strong enough to go out anywhere which might make me tempted to drink, and actually like staying in on a Friday night. I just, as others have pointed out, need to plan ahead. So that's what I will do.
I love having more time, and like most people lead a hectic life with work and family. I can easily fill my time with more chores, but haven't yet worked out how to use my time in a more fulfilling manner., especially as I'm still exhausted by the evening.
Small steps.
Monday 23 January 2017
Friday 20 January 2017
Trump!
OMG it happened. He's president.
I won't be political.
Greatast point, he doesn't drink alcohol.
The rest, we shall see.
Had a tough and very busy week but am just about hanging in there. Thursday night was tough, so another early night.
It's OK but when will I feel like this is nothing less than boring?
I won't be political.
Greatast point, he doesn't drink alcohol.
The rest, we shall see.
Had a tough and very busy week but am just about hanging in there. Thursday night was tough, so another early night.
It's OK but when will I feel like this is nothing less than boring?
Tuesday 10 January 2017
Look after me!
I can't believe I'm on day 10 and no alcohol. Yesterday and today have probably been the hardest, but I didn't want to have to admit to giving in to temptation.
I've been reading lots of blogs, lots of mind stuff and felt the urge to revisit "The Chimp Paradox" by Dr Steve Peters. I know it's not for everyone, but it works for me. The only problem is I can't find the book! Having Marie Kondoed (the de-cluttering one) my house about 18 months ago, I'm surprised I can't find it, but never mind that at the moment. I found a PDF onlinewhich reminded me of the basic principles. Very briefly Dr Peters talks about three ares of the brain, - you the human , frontal lobe, logical thinking etc, the chimp, limbic system- emotion etc and the computer- storage area for thoughts and behaviours. Both human and chimp can imput the computer The chimp, like areal one, is five times stronger than a human, so you need to look after it and nurture it rather than control it, as you can't. You need to make sure beneficial data is being stored in your computer. I'm not the best at explaining all this, but I understand the idea and
"Your chimp is hi-jacking you if you
I recognise that person! So now I have a cute picture of a baby chimp on my study noticeboard that I would never think pouring alcohol into it would be a good idea. It would be cruel. It's beginning to stick that the strong, impulsive, sometimes persistent thoughts are just one primitive area of my brain that needs to be calmed by rational thought and processed over and over again. I'm not fighting myself to stop drinking, I'm convincing myself that it is not my best idea. It's bloody exhausting, but hey, it's DAY 10!
And I feel like crying like child who wants their own way, because I want a glass of wine and I'm not going to have one. But it is DAY 10, hurray!
PS Grammar and punctuation police- I know and don't care. It's been a long day and I'm doing a good thing.
I've been reading lots of blogs, lots of mind stuff and felt the urge to revisit "The Chimp Paradox" by Dr Steve Peters. I know it's not for everyone, but it works for me. The only problem is I can't find the book! Having Marie Kondoed (the de-cluttering one) my house about 18 months ago, I'm surprised I can't find it, but never mind that at the moment. I found a PDF onlinewhich reminded me of the basic principles. Very briefly Dr Peters talks about three ares of the brain, - you the human , frontal lobe, logical thinking etc, the chimp, limbic system- emotion etc and the computer- storage area for thoughts and behaviours. Both human and chimp can imput the computer The chimp, like areal one, is five times stronger than a human, so you need to look after it and nurture it rather than control it, as you can't. You need to make sure beneficial data is being stored in your computer. I'm not the best at explaining all this, but I understand the idea and
"Your chimp is hi-jacking you if you
- Have unwelcome thought and feelings
- Struggle to live life the way yoou want
- Sabotage your own happiness and success
- Act impulsively and regret it later
- Procrastinate or can't stick at resolutions."
I recognise that person! So now I have a cute picture of a baby chimp on my study noticeboard that I would never think pouring alcohol into it would be a good idea. It would be cruel. It's beginning to stick that the strong, impulsive, sometimes persistent thoughts are just one primitive area of my brain that needs to be calmed by rational thought and processed over and over again. I'm not fighting myself to stop drinking, I'm convincing myself that it is not my best idea. It's bloody exhausting, but hey, it's DAY 10!
And I feel like crying like child who wants their own way, because I want a glass of wine and I'm not going to have one. But it is DAY 10, hurray!
PS Grammar and punctuation police- I know and don't care. It's been a long day and I'm doing a good thing.
Wednesday 4 January 2017
Pilates
I've had a busy couple of days with lots of new things. Today I went to my first pilates class. It was very friendly. There were only two new people. The instructor asked the other lady her name and whether or not she had done pilates before or not. Then she turned to me. To hurry things along I just said, "I'm mynewway and Ihaven't done pilates before. Anothe lovely lady laughed and said what I was thinking. "You sound like your saying you're an alcoholic!" This raised some laughter, so I replied jovially, "Well I am, but that's for a different class! See, I am letting it all out, but I don't think they were aware how close to the bone this was.
On a more positive note I also put 0 units of alcohol per week on the form in answer to the question about current usage. No lie there, just don't want to have to change the answer later!
This evening is a bit tough, so writing my blog and looking at some others is keeping me busy. Another early night is on the cards.
On a more positive note I also put 0 units of alcohol per week on the form in answer to the question about current usage. No lie there, just don't want to have to change the answer later!
This evening is a bit tough, so writing my blog and looking at some others is keeping me busy. Another early night is on the cards.
Tuesday 3 January 2017
Awakening
Yesterday was a good day. Tonnes of washing went through the machine (how do teenagers create sooo much), half the kitchen cupboards were cleaned out, read lots of blogs, tried to comment on some, but not all seemed to post, and a lovely walk in the sunshine all before midday.
The afternoon was less productive and I was exhausted by the evening, but no desire to drink, but took myself off to bed early.
It's freezing cold here this morning, but have been up doing chores from 6.30 and am now heading out for a brisk walk in the frost before working from home for the rest of the morning.
Feeling positive.
From reading lots of sober blogs it is clear that too many bloggers look after everyone but themselves. I know that having fought hard to put more balance in my life, at the end of last year, when I, like everyone else was exhausted, I took on others' workloads when they were ill, just to help out. This meant I took my eye off the ball. So this year I will be more vigilant. Nothing will stop me going all out for work, family etc, but I need to be on my guard and look after myself better. I've even checked out doable yoga classes. After seeing how stiff my dear old mum is, it's time to loosen up and regain my spirit!
The afternoon was less productive and I was exhausted by the evening, but no desire to drink, but took myself off to bed early.
It's freezing cold here this morning, but have been up doing chores from 6.30 and am now heading out for a brisk walk in the frost before working from home for the rest of the morning.
Feeling positive.
From reading lots of sober blogs it is clear that too many bloggers look after everyone but themselves. I know that having fought hard to put more balance in my life, at the end of last year, when I, like everyone else was exhausted, I took on others' workloads when they were ill, just to help out. This meant I took my eye off the ball. So this year I will be more vigilant. Nothing will stop me going all out for work, family etc, but I need to be on my guard and look after myself better. I've even checked out doable yoga classes. After seeing how stiff my dear old mum is, it's time to loosen up and regain my spirit!
Sunday 1 January 2017
Looking forward
Well I nearly made it through to 2017. Christmas was great. How lovely to enjoy it feeling good! What a revelation. I survived family parties and other events. It was not that hard. But I did slip up a couple of times. It was the quiet nights that got me.
So here I go again. Wendy (Tipsy no more) is a great advocate of telling everyone and enlisting support. I've not had the courage to do this, but with it being "Dry January" I have the perfect "excuse". I'm also going to blog a lot more to keep me focussed and will reach out for the support of the fabulous sobersphere.
This is going to happen!
Happy New Year.
So here I go again. Wendy (Tipsy no more) is a great advocate of telling everyone and enlisting support. I've not had the courage to do this, but with it being "Dry January" I have the perfect "excuse". I'm also going to blog a lot more to keep me focussed and will reach out for the support of the fabulous sobersphere.
This is going to happen!
Happy New Year.
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