I've been doing a lot of thinking the past few days. I've always thought that I'm quite a competetive person, I like to win. Not in an obsessive Olympian kind of way, just hard work and success.
Actually I think I just have a lot of pride. One of the reasons I haven't been blogging is that I failed, and I hate to admit that to anyone. I really beat myself up (mentally) if I fail and have a hard time admitting it. If I dig deeper, and right now is not the time, it's also probably an insecure need to impress, but I'll leave that for a much later date.
So being sober is not a competition. I nfact here it is being part of a supportive community. I don't need to compete, I don't have to make anyone proud, but I do gain support, which I hope in time I can do for others.
But I would like to be proud of myself, like today, Day 4 and still sober. Craving a drink, but about to go for a walk and pretty proud of myself for that small step.
KT
Hi MNW! It's lovely to see you back, I have been wondering if you are OK and how you are doing. We are all just taking the next small step which add up to a long journey, with tail backs, cross roads, detours and the rest! You are in good company here if failing and trying again, we've all been there. Keep at it. SP Xx
ReplyDeleteThanks SP. I'm taking it one day at a time. My energy is great in the morning. By 7pm I'm shattered, but that's better than being shattered at 7am, so I'm gaining twelve hours! No brainer?
ReplyDeleteFor sure it's not a competition...but a support system!
ReplyDeleteMost of us fail many times before we finally get sober!
xo
Wendy
Hoping and trying for more success and less failure.
ReplyDelete